Behold! A friendly friend came strolling by for an ever so friendly visit, accompanied by his always present friend and landlord: Hugh Sweaty Hand.
Oh woe! A sinister gentleman materialized in the pencil case! He cannot stand happiness!
Malice lies heavy in the air as he slowly emerges from his turgid lair…
Oh noes! He is casually leaning forward while brandishing a match! our friendly, less than flame proof friend is in grave danger!
AND SURE ENOUGH! Oh why must the kind hearted suffer so? Why must life be so cruel to the downtrodden?
Hugh Sweaty Hand is quickly reduced to a state of comatose! Surely, all hope is lost…
JUST THEN! The Capt´n came rushing drunkenly to the rescue, clad in his wonderful man-ape boots, stolen from the only human king born on Ape-Island. For more info, consult your local tourist center.
We´d like to tell you more about the daring rescue, with naked breasts, explosions, implosions and exploding breasts, but we find ourselves much more interested in the concept of “Ape-island”. And the rumors of a nude Ape-island beach, wich we so desperatly googled to find more information on, and so we are going to elaborate on that subject instead.
I be outraged at this!
Young scallywags portrai´n me life in a manner most far from th´truth!
Ye know damned well there´s yet to be a human born on that infernal island!
I´ll be harpoonin´ yer shins together when I get back from the Electronics roadshow!